The tears in my eyes
The secrets in your eyes
Covered up with lies
Something that live within every lines
This is darkness in life
It's all too fast
Thought it would last
Turns into a moment I can't trust
In life there are regrets
Something that can't be forget
No matter how hard you try to get
There are still regrets
In this world, there's life
In life, there's happenings
Behind happenings, there's emotions
Every action leads to emotion
Smiles, tears and sulks
Emotional emotions
Where it all comes from
I got it alll wrong
Tell me where it's from
So I could be strong
It's hard to believe
A burden hard to lift
I need some relieve
Hey guys, Felt very free suddenly So I decided to blog First of all I'm working in bar in NYNY! Next thing is I got fucked by Julius He comment that I'm slow and etc. Made me so demoralized Early in the afternoon I got fucked Felt the stress he gave But overall still alright Because there's Jessica guiding me She taught me a lot of stuff And there's still pretty much for me to learn and memorise Had to memorise recipe for drinks And the steps for the desserts Waffle making was hell for me I keep on failing for like 5-6 times? Till now I also can't confirm the next waffle I make will be perfect All I have to do is keep practicing But how much waffle mix will I waste? In order for me to be able to make the perfect waffles Beats me too! We'll see about that My first priority is to memorise all the drinks first So I can prepared it in seconds
No point dwelling New target, objective and goal I'm starting afresh A brand new me
We were as one babe For a moment in time And it seemed everlasting That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free So I'm letting you fly Cause I know in my heart babe Our love will never die No!
You'll always be a part of me I'm a part of you indefinitely Girl don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry no And I won't beg you to stay If you're determined to leave girl I will not stand in your way But inevitably you'll be back again Cause ya know in your heart babe Our love will never end no
You'll always be a part of me I'm part of you indefinitely Girl don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I know that you'll be back girl When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh I know that, you'll be right back, babe Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
You'll always be apart of me I'm part of you indefinitely Girl don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....
You'll always be apart of me (you will always be) I'm part of you indefinitely Girl don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on (we will linger on....) Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
Was lazy to blog for the pass few days So I'll blog out what I've done Movies and work Boring right? That's the reasons why I hesitated to blog
Movies that I've watched with CK at lot one We went for some kind of movie marathon Watched two movies straight Duration was two and a half hour per movie Was a bit tired after watching Because we watched from 9pm to around 2am?
Movie I've watched
The Dark Knight Red Cliff I rated both movies 7.5 to 8
The duration of Dark Knight was quite long for me because I didn't expect it would be that long. The storyline was like unpredictable. Great movie, I suggest everyone to go catch it. It's worth it!
For Red Cliff because the movie is rated PG instead of NC16 therefore the fighting scenes aren't that good. The movements are slower compared to NC16 ancient war and combat movies. Quite disappointed in this but some part of the movie is quite funny therefore I'm not disappointed after all. My favourite actor Tony Leung is starring in this movie.
Next day started work at 11am Was damn shag It's Sunday Lots of people came and dine in NYNY Be the food abouyer without fail Was suppose to end my shift at 6pm Then my outlet manager came and asked "Matt, today work till what time?" I replied "6pm" Then he ignored me for a while -.-" He came again and asked "You can extend?" I replied willingly "Sure" He said "Until what time?" I told him I can work till closing Then he said "Never say earlier!" I replied "You now then ask?!" After that he kept quiet That day was busy serving food to many people With the help of another food abouyer Named Swee Yin Poor her because I kept disturbing her Too stress already being the food abouyer Had to entertain myself by disturbing people Haha!
Took some photos during non peak hour at work with,
Grace
Jasreel and Grace
Joycelyn
Nisa and Jessica Love my workmates! Can't bear to leave NYNY for NS But I still don't know when I'm enlisting Not so soon please
Oh it's 6.26am now and I'm blogging Rise and shine everybody! Nights Matthaeus. =)
Nothing much happened today Slept late woke up late as usual Start work at 6pm, was the misc runner today
Job of misc runner are 1- Push trolley in and out 2- Change the dustbin bag 3- Wipe cutleries and stock up 4- Refill water for water jugs 5- Send bill
What I did today as a misc runner 1- The 5 mentioned above 2- Help food abouyer (Serve food) 3- Play in bar
Was fun but exhausted because I was like running around Asked to wash the chilli and ketchup bottles and refill the chilli Spent an hour doing it till my back hurts Thats briefly what I did during work today
Wasn't being stationed at Misc runner for quite some time At first was quite reluctant but I realized something is different The job of a Misc runner isn't that though as before Memories recalled as usual Sad and happy ones
Mentioned about wiping cutleries being part of a Misc runner job While I was wiping cutleries after I pushed the trolley in With a leftover Mini Cheese Fondue on top of the trolley I was the dish washer auntie grab some and ate it My mind was like thinking "Why are you doing this?" She saw me looking at her and she smiled at me Poor auntie with a tough job, I pity her But can see she's nice because she offered me help when I was washing chilli and ketchup But I didn't accept because my job was way to easy then hers Even she can handle hers, why can't I?
Boring mornings and pathetic nights Rushing afternoons and busy evenings The same routine everyday I've nowhere to go Without you
It's like stopping the time For awhile But when it resumes Everything changes My life, my plans, my mindset
Like a bullet going through my head I couldn't think Like a spear piercing through my chest I couldn't breathe Like I'm frozen in ice I couldn't move
An angel in my eyes turns into a devil An aeroplane in the sky crashes down the level Turns into a unpredictable disaster By then, Things, peoples and matters Changes Act before it's too late Till then everything is gone In split seconds
Cherish and treasure Before it turns into Regrets and pains That lives like a scar In the heart Even blood pumping out Can't wash it away
This is for my peoples who just lost somebody Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady Put your hand way up high We will never say bye (no, no, no) Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye
As a child there were them times I didn't get it but you kept me in line I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes On Sunday mornings, and I missed you But I'm glad we talked through All them grown folk things Separation brings You never let me know it You never let it show because You loved me and obviously There's so much more left to say If you were with me today face to face
I never knew I could hurt like this And everyday life goes on like "I wish I could talk to you for awhile" Miss you but I try not to cry As time goes by And soon as you reach a better place Still I'd give the world to see your face And I'm right here next to you But it's like you're gone too soon Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye
Bye bye
And you never got the chance to see how good I've done And you never got to see me back at number one I wish that you were here to celebrate together I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to tuck me in at night With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight I thought you were so strong You'd make it through whatever It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever
I never knew I could hurt like this And everyday life goes on like "I wish I could talk to you for awhile" Miss you but I try not to cry As time goes by And soon as you reach a better place Still I'd give the world to see your face And I'm right here next to you But it's like you're gone too soon Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye
Bye bye
This is for my peoples who just lost somebody Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady Put your hand way up high We will never say bye (no, no, no) Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye
I never knew I could hurt like this And everyday life goes on like "I wish I could talk to you for awhile" Miss you but I try not to cry As time goes by And soon as you reach a better place Still I'd give the world to see your face And I'm right here next to you But it's like you're gone too soon Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye
This song totally describle me - Bye Bye. 02/07/08 - 12/07/08 十天之前，我属于你，你属于我，十天之后我不属于你，你不属于我。我们都不一样变成了很陌生再也找不到拥抱的理由难免而为朋友。Wanted to post this long ago but I just stopped myself till I couldn't take it anymore. I'm going to burst. Now I totally knew how you felt. In that period of time everything I say is because of you. Only you make me say those heartfelt and hurtful stuff. Heartfelt stuff I really mean it. Hurtful stuff I don't mean it but I had no choice but to say those because I don't want to see you in that state too. Yes I'm the person landed you in it but if I didn't do it earlier things would be even worst. I'm not nothing, I'm a person with feelings just like everybody. Asked you not to wait is because I can't bear to see you wait but I can't rush myself too. It took a lot of courage for me to say those words out. Of course I don't feel good upon saying those words out but I had no choice because of you I said it. I didn't expressed myself therefore things became too late but I really can't take it anymore, please ignore me for now. I'm posting to make myself feel better. After that day past, everything's different, so unfamiliar till I don't even knew where I was. I know where I did wrong. I just overlooked something that cause me this. But well it's my fault after all, just have to be strong and take all those reflected damages. No regrets? I must be kidding. Deceived myself totally. Can't be helped. I just have to face it now or later. Numb myself with work? Ya right that's stupid because everything started from there. Whatever I do there reminds me of you. Images flashed through my mind. Lots of mistake I made during work. I freaking distracted! I just have to stop thinking. I did a great job from not crying even though it's hard on me. There's pros and cons in this situation. Cons are obvious so I don't even have to mention it. Pros are you're happier, even more love and care you received from this 2 I can let go. Just feels contented. You have my blessing, take care and bye bye.
Julius! I want go bar! let me in please =/
It's been days my hand still hurts after that stupid medical check-up. I doubt that person had his license for drawing people's blood. Hope something really is wrong with my arm so I could drop my PES. Sighs.
I will remember you for all the things that we've gone through. There's so much I can say but words get in the way so we're not together, I will remember you.
Friday, July 4, 2008
It's been terrible for the past few days for me. I had decisions to make. I made the wrong decision so I just have to correct it myself. It's hard to explain but I really hope you'll understand that it'll be harder for the both of us if we had to carry on. My choice was indeed selfish but the reasons behind make senses. I thought of consequences before making this decision. Still there's consequences behind everything, every decision you made and every path you took. I'm vexed. Give me some breathing space. Guilt all over my heart. I'm not worth it. Truth is I once loved you without noticing anything. I try to make things happen but I simply can't, blame me if you want to but to be honest with you I really can't. It's my fault not yours. The problem lies with me not you. You're right I took everything for granted. A thousand of apologies.
